Friday, December 10, 2010

head over heels again

I was sitting at my table working on my laptop when i sensed some motion beside me.  My little daughter, who was sleeping on the bed, was stirring.  She lifted her head to try and look at me, but her eyes were blurry with sleep and her head was nodding and swaying in all directions.  Her cheeks were all puffed up, lips pouting, eyebrows arched up, confused and questioning.  She was looking so very cute, so beyond any description cute, that i just had to get up, lie down beside her, kiss her on her head and pray for her wellbeing.

Once again i felt this fierce tug of love for her in my heart.  Its a different kind of love.  It doesn't compete with the love i feel for my wife.  Or my family or friends or anything for that matter.  It is strong and pure and all-encompassing.  It makes me feel so happy to be around.  To experience it.  And i feel grateful to God for letting me have it.  The experience of being a parent has been so beautiful so far...seems like everything else fades away in comparison.  I know there will be ups and downs as she grows up, but thats cool.  I want to be there for her at every step.  And i want to be fitter and live longer because i want to be there for her for as long as possible.

I hope God grants her a long, full life, and if not, i want Him to give her my experience ordinary stuff and beautiful experience school and college and work and music and dance and colours and nature and falling in love and children and hot coffee and alcohol and ice cream and books and rains and food and friendship...

She has fallen asleep again, and i've fallen for her...again.